Claiming His Promises

Numbers 21:31 (ESV) Thus Israel lived in the land of the Amorites. 32 And Moses sent to spy out Jazer, and they captured its villages and dispossessed the Amorites who were there. 33 Then they turned and went up by the way to Bashan. And Og the king of Bashan came out against them, he and all his people, to battle at Edrei. 34 But the Lord said to Moses, “Do not fear him, for I have given him into your hand, and all his people, and his land. And you shall do to him as you did to Sihon king of the Amorites, who lived at Heshbon.” 35 So they defeated him and his sons and all his people, until he had no survivor left. And they possessed his land.

I am disappointed in God today. I don't want to get out of bed. I just want to vent, blog and devour a bar of chocolate.

Have you ever felt like God promised you something and He didn't deliver? You're the new graduate pursuing the job you envisioned for yourself. You're the cancer patient claiming that God will melt your tumors away. You're the broken-hearted single waiting for God to heal your heart and bring you a relationship that works. You're the couple waiting for the child God promised you. Didn't He say that He wanted us to increase and multiply?

But day after day, as you trudge through the humdrum of your routine, there is no change. You find yourself yet again on the airport, waiting for the plane to your promised land, and as you look through the schedule boards the plane never seems to arrive.

If you are like me, you probably went through a period of doubt. God, are the promises that you planted in my heart just in my head? Am I hearing you right or did I make a mistake? And all you hear is a deafening silence.

And one day, you give up on His promises. You give up on waiting for the plane. You leave the airport and settle back to what you already have, all the while convincing yourself that what you have today is what's best for you. So suck it up and be happy.

But the lessons from the verses above tell us a different story.

Yes, God promised the Israelites the land, but it wasn't handed to them on a silver platter. The Israelites needed to do their part. They needed to actively engage in a process to claim God's promise.

First, the Israelites decided to get out of their comfort zone--the desert. Imagine a desert, a place with limited resources, a place that wasn't meant to sustain life for the long term. Yes, God provided for the Israelites for forty years in this desert, but it wasn't the destination He meant for them. God desired to multiply their blessings. It was clear to the Israelites that they needed to move out of their desert and into a land that was flowing with milk and honey and the Israelites make a firm decision to do so.

Do you have a comfort zone? Do you feel like God is telling you to make a firm decision to move out of this comfort zone and move into something greater than what you currently have?

Second, the Israelites planned and strategized. Numbers 21:32 And Moses sent to spy out Jazer, and they captured its villages and dispossessed the Amorites who were there. Before engaging in battle, the Israelites spied the land, probably investigating how the people organized themselves and how best they could dispossess the Amorites.

Have you carefully studied and investigated what God wants you to move into?

Third, the Israelites overcame their fears. Numbers 31:34 But the Lord said to Moses, “Do not fear him, for I have given him into your hand, and all his people, and his land. And you shall do to him as you did to Sihon king of the Amorites, who lived at Heshbon.” After doing what we need to do--make a firm decision, plan and strategize, we need to listen to God and surrender our fears to Him. Trust that He will see you through challenging circumstances.

Do you have fears that are holding you back? Have you surrendered them to God? Do you trust Him enough to see you through your difficult circumstances?

Fourth, the Israelites faced their challenges and defeated them. Numbers 31:35 So they defeated him and his sons and all his people, until he had no survivor left. And they possessed his land. This is the part we take action to move in and claim God's promises.

Shoot a prayer:

Reflect on the questions above and ask God to give you the wisdom and strength to claim His promises.

An Unexpected Gift

Psalm 138:8 (ESV) The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me;
your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever.
Do not forsake the work of your hands.

I was three years old when I started to remember.

I was treading down the pebble wash staircase in my childhood home, holding on to a red Indian tapestry that my parents acquired from one of their travels to the Far East. At the bottom of the staircase was my sister, messy short hair, huge eyes, yelping in gibberish beyond my comprehension.

"Yaya Dory, what is wrong with her?" I asked her nanny.

"Nothing. She is mentally retarded."

I pitied my sister while I was growing up. She couldn't speak words and sentences the way I could. She said, "Tachoo" instead of "Thank you". Her awkward gait never matched my swift run and she went to a special needs school where the teachers taught her how to pour water, push her chair and button her blouse, skills that I could easily do as a five year old.

There were also times when she wet and soiled her pants, so the yayas who took care of her were always upset and burdened. Jhoanna also threw uncontrollable tantrums in public, so as I grew up, my pity grew into an uncontrollable and embarassing shame.

I also wondered why my sister was different. What went on in her mind? Why was her brain different from mine? Why couldn't she understand what adults were saying? Why couldn't she communicate the way others communicated? Why did she have to shout all the time?

I was also worried. What will happen to her when we grow up? What was the point of her life? She's never going to be able to work and live the life that other adults to. Why did God create her?

By the time I was six, I was determined to change the course of her life. My parents and I traveled to India, and during a visit to Mumbai, visited a temple where the elephant god, Ganesha, resided. As a child, I was fascinated by this god--his trunk, the majestic way he raised his head and his huge floppy ears. My parents acquired some holy water from Ganesha and hid it on the top shelf of their closet back in Manila.

One day, I climbed this closet, discovered the holy water, and decided to steal a cup. That night, while my sister was asleep, I sprinkled some holy water on her large droopy eyes, tall nose and high cheekbones. I prayed that she would be healed from what I perceived was her affliction--her mental handicap. I believed in my heart that this holy water was the antidote, the solution to her ailment.

I waited and waited. I waited until she woke up. She opened her eyes and hollered my name, "Shashashashasha!" Her eyes were bright and laughing. But no change.

I waited for a change the next day. "Tachoo, Shasha," she said as I handed her a stuffed toy.

And the next day, "Shashasha amoon amoon." Her hand demonstrating a scooping movement, her way of asking me if I was hungry.

I waited for a miracle to happen in my sister during the next weeks and months. It never happened. One day, I forgot that I hoped. I stopped waiting.

By the time I was nine, I didn't believe in Ganesha or any god. I didn't understand how He could create a being like my sister, who in my perception suffered so much. What was the point of her life? What was its purpose? She couldn't even say simple words like, "Thank you". She couldn't even feed herself properly and go to a normal school. How could God be so cruel? He had no power. Maybe He doesn't exist!

By the time I was in high school, I sought the answers to my questions in psychology: All our brains are wired differently. The causes are numerous. Genetics can play a part. Sometimes a difficult pregnancy. I learned about psychoanalysis, conditioning and play therapy. I put my hope in these antidotes. These solutions.

My major in college was psychology and during my last year, a professor encouraged me to teach because she observed that I understood how the minds of children work and I had excellent rapport with them.

I graduated from university and taught in a preschool a month after. The start of my current profession, a profession that I've been successful at for the past thirteen years.

"The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me;
your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever.
Do not forsake the work of your hands."

The main reason that I am a teacher today is because of my sister, Jhoanna. Through Jhoanna, God planted the seeds of curiosity and care in in me. Through Jhoanna and me, God has blessed many children.

The Lord has fulfilled and continues to fulfill His purposes for Jhoanna and me.

Tachoo, Lord. Tachoo, Jhoanna.

Shoot a prayer:

Have you ever received an unexpected gift through difficult circumstances?

Ask God to speak to you today about His purposes that are beyond your current understanding.

Treasures Waiting for Us

Numbers 13:26 (ESV) And they came to Moses and Aaron and to all the congregation of the people of Israel in the wilderness of Paran, at Kadesh. They brought back word to them and to all the congregation, and showed them the fruit of the land. 27 And they told him, “We came to the land to which you sent us. It flows with milk and honey, and this is its fruit. 28 However, the people who dwell in the land are strong, and the cities are fortified and very large. And besides, we saw the descendants of Anak there. 29 The Amalekites dwell in the land of the Negeb. The Hittites, the Jebusites, and the Amorites dwell in the hill country. And the Canaanites dwell by the sea, and along the Jordan.”

30 But Caleb quieted the people before Moses and said, “Let us go up at once and occupy it, for we are well able to overcome it.”

I met Anna on the day after Christmas, during a day trip to New Haven last year. I was wearing a pink pashmina shawl with woven paisley designs from India and she had taken a liking to it. She asked me if there were similar fabrics in the Philippines and I said I'd take a look.

Five months later, I am back in the East Coast and privileged enough to have the time and means to revisit my friend, and therefore, her mother-in-law, Anna, this time with twenty shawls in tote. She immediately fell in love with the feel of silk, pashmina and chiffon. They were sprawled and wrapped around her couches and seats as she gasped and ogled the chartreause, salmon and crimson, all the while reminiscing about a Bollywood movie and a connection to an old time friend who added color to her life. She thanked me for giving her these treasures, enough material to keep her occupied to design art pieces for women to wear in the months to come. Anna was taking another step in realizing her dream of selling women's clothing that made women feel like they could escape from the humdrum of their daily lives.

She then turned to me and held my hand. She said that she wanted to get to know me more. She wanted to know my inner world, my soul.

"What you see is what you get," I replied. A little uncomfortable but curious and amused.

"But, Sacha, what are you afraid of? What are you holding back?" she prodded.

"What do you mean?" My eyebrows furrowed.

"What are you fearful about?" she continued, gazing into my eyes.

"I don't think I'm afraid of anything," I shrugged and smiled.

"Just remember that there are no coincidences. This meeting is no coincidence."

"I completely agree," I added curtly. We ended that meeting by reading a verse from Proverbs about God's provision and abundance.

That afternoon, I came across the verses above. The Israelites were delivered from slavery in Egypt and had been traveling through the desert for forty years. God had promised them the land of Canaan. Moses instructed the leaders from each tribe to spy the land and come back with a report. The Israelite leaders described a land flowing with milk and honey. They also described fortified cities and people--no small challenge for a people who have been unsettled for many years.

But Caleb quieted the people before Moses and said, “Let us go up at once and occupy it, for we are well able to overcome it.”

I closed my bible and realized that Anna was right. There is something holding me back from doing what I really want to do--fear. Fear of failure. Fear of the unknown.

Yesterday, I was at the MoMA, viewing the furniture in the architecture and design section. Amidst chairs made out of Japanese paper and Polish posters, I was meditating on the idea that this was a room full of ideas. And there were all these mini conversations in my head about the artwork. An intense feeling of sadness crept, and I needed to sit down.

I am very grateful that I am in New York City today. But at the same time, I don't want it to end. I don't want to leave this room full of ideas. I don't want this conversation to end.

I keep looking at the fortified cities and strong people--getting a job in NYC, acquiring a visa, resigning from a wonderful job in Manila and saying goodbye to family and friends.

But God is exhorting me to be like Caleb. "Sacha, claim the treasures, the destiny that I have for you. We are connected. You will overcome."

I claim God's treasures. I claim His destiny for me.

I am overcoming.

Shoot a prayer:

What treasures does God want you to claim from Him? What are your fortified cities and strong people? How can you overcome them?

Ask God to enlighten you today and hold your hand as you claim the destiny He has for you.

A New Creation

Genesis 1:1 (ESV) In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. 2 The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.

3 And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. 4 And God saw that the light was good. And God separated the light from the darkness.

We've all read this story before and connected it to the creation of our precious planet, the Earth. But after reading it again the other day, a whisper entered my thoughts--I am a new creation.

Like the earth, I was without form. My void was deep. Nothing and no one could fill it.

Like the earth, there was a darkness over my face and inside my heart. The darkness deep, a pit with no end.

Like the earth, the Spirit of God hovered over me. Inviting. I refused Him for many years, perceiving Him as another salesman with a bottle of happiness for purchase. "Come here, daughter. Come to me. And I will quench your thirst." I refused to look at Him or listen. He had disappointed me many times in the past. He never gave me what I wanted. He never solved my unhappiness.

That was in my terrible twenties. These thoughts went on and on. Everyday the same. Another dark day, another life that went around in circles, purposeless, with no end.

My journey included quenching my thirst through relationships, philosophies, religions, psychology, positive thinking, meditation, alcohol, food, travel, and other pleasures that life had to offer. But my darkness was deep, a pit with no end.

I was finding myself, but the more I looked, the more my self evaded me. And then finally, I remembered the invitation. Symbolically, the old tattered envelope that lay on my dresser for years. Friends would tell me about this invitation--the joy they felt in finding the One. The peace that it brought. It all sounded like a cliche.

But I was at the end of my rope. I accepted every other invitation, and I was unhappy, the darkness getting deeper.

I remember accepting the invite. Meeting Him, was like meeting an old friend, but I was actually meeting my father, my creator. I was humbled. I've said no to Him so many times and here I was at His feet, begging Him to save my life. Begging Him to bring me some happiness. Begging Him to forgive me. I was in tears for months. I had been so mean to Him. For many years, He had no room in my life, and now here I was begging Him to be the center of it.

He took me in His arms and accepted my apology. He looked me in the face and affirmed that I am His daughter. I am His flesh creation, but now, more than that, I am His creation through His Spirit.

He gave me light. My life became clear to me. Whereas before, I lived for pleasure and solely to satisfy myself, I realized I needed to live for Him. In my soul, I needed to live for something beyond myself and that was Him. Ironically, that brings me the most pleasure.

He separated my light from my darkness. I am still a work in progress. But everyday, as I walk with Him, I am dying to the things that don't seem to work for me. Everyday He separates the light that He sparked from my darkness.

Like the Earth, I am a new creation, a first day, a new day.

Shoot your prayer:

How are you a new creation? How has God worked in your life? What areas do you want Him to continue working on in partnership with you?